Smithers...are they booing me? Uh, no sir, they're saying "Boo-urns!"

They wanted Anson Carter to come back, but Anson wanted the money. When Anson came back, he was deservingly booed like the money-first guy that he is. Similarly, they wanted Ed Jovanovski to come back, but in this new era of a salary cap and on the heels of a failed season, it simply couldn’t be done. Jovo got his 7 million a year down in the desert and the Canucks eventually got Luongo for a bit cheaper.

Tonight, the second uncomfortable reunion will take place this year as Jovocop returns as an opponent to GM Place. I can’t imagine the Canuck faithful will boo him since, unlike Carter, Jovo gave the fans some kickass, strange, and energetic memories for many seasons. Despite his frequent defensive gaffes, he was the rockstar of the Vancouver defense for six seasons. So don’t boo the man, please.

In fact, if you HAVE to boo, the Coyotes give you the perfect guy for that: Jeremy Roenick. Here’s a cheatsheet for you:

1. His best season was back in 1994. The top music in 1994 included auditory assaults from Sheryl Crow, Boys II Men, Gloria Estefan, and Ace of Base. So nothing made sense that year; see that season’s Stanley Cup finals for more information.
2. His website has an incredibly annoying audio loop on the main page.
3. I don’t know what this is, but it annoys me too. Stop it.
4. Why?
5. He abuses dogs. At least the middle one. Do those look like happy eyes to you?
6. Other career highlights include: getting out-trashed talked by Patrick Roy, asked “spoiled” fans to “kiss his ass” during the lockout (out of context or not), claims the American Olympic committee blackballed him, and publicly declared wanting to play in Canada before signing with the Coyotes. Clearly, it’s tough being JR.
7. He currently has six points this season. So does Alex Burrows.

(Note: I am kidding about #5. All the rest is true.)

Prediction: Canucks 4-1. If two games are any indication, the Canucks are kinda…sorta…maybe…learning how to score more then two a game. I assume if they can beat up Ward and Kipper then a tired Cujo shouldn’t be that tall a chore for them. Dave Scatchard will score because he’s an ex-Canuck with at least one noteworthy story on his resume. Daniel Sedin, Naslund, Morrison, and Tremblay will get the rest.

An aside: This is terrible. Honestly, I don’t know much about Kessel; I’ve seen him on the TV twice this year and he was invisible. But that doesn’t matter, I hope gets better quicker then anyone can imagine. A guy with his future certainly doesn’t deserve this. None of us do.