Quick Hits

A virtual whirlwind of Vancouver news in the past few days…but when you only have a few million dollars to patch up some rather large holes in the SS Canucks, the news isn’t always that terribly exciting:

• Gordie Dwyer has been invited to training camp. A quick look at his stats suggests he’s not coming to fill the hole on right wing
• It seems that Steve Shields could teach Noronen a thing or two about team camaraderie
• Ed who? Bryan what? All I see is some bloke named Rory with dreams of victory dancing in his head
• Conventional wisdom says Trevor Linden will be signed. One thing is for certain, he certainly won’t be signing in Florida
  

And in other NHL news:

• A pure miracle of modern science is close to inking a contract with Phoenix
• Our leading scorer from last year is still homeless. And Vancouver still has no ring wings. Meanwhile the Oilers snagged themselves a right winger they arguably don’t even need. Commence crying and the blaming of Al Qaeda.
• Evgeni Malkin is still on the run. And, curiously, NASA lost its original moon landing tapes. Coincidence? We’re not that naïve… Evgeni is locked up a seedy motel somewhere, potato chip crumbs strewn across his stained wifebeater, as he keeps watching the Apollo landings in a loop. Don’t ask why either…it’s just funnier to think that’s what he’s actually doing right now