This is why helmets are used

I just noticed the good people at canucks.com changed their roster page from a simple list of names to large mugshots. I know I've seen most of these guys before, but this reminds me of those terrible school pictures you had to take when you were six years old and akward enough to not sit still (and by 'you' I mean me) so every picture came out with you looking like some strange water baby from the midwest. So here are some of the more interesting members, visually speaking, on the Canucks:


Lukas Krajicek - Um...it's either the balding pattern or the ears, but I feel like I am looking at a Lord of the Rings character here. A minor one most likely, like some evil minon who almost gets the ring before a stupid hobbit kills him with a stick. Fucking hobbits.






Taylor Pyatt - It's the eyes and hair...I'm looking into the eyes of Satan here. But I won't blame Taylor at all...he has been living in Buffalo for sometime now. Hell, I won't even blame Buffalo...let's blame Rochester. Fucking Rochester. (note: his picture JUST changed on canucks.com. Try as they might, it's still Satan)






Marc Chouinard - Are we sure he plays hockey? Those teeth look awful entact and white. We may need someone in a preseason practice to just haul off and knock them all out of his mouth. What's that? Oh right, we don't have an enforcer. So Marc will have to slip on the ice then or step in front of a Sami Salo shot then.






Jan Bulis - "Ladies and gentlemen...taking the place of Alex Auld in the 'freaky cueball smily guy' role this season..."







Ryan Kesler - OK man, you got the money. Now get a haircut. Polamalu has the whole insane hair and helmet thing down and we don't need a NHL version. Unless you singlehandidly get us the Stanley Cup. Then you can have any haircut you want. See Mike Commodore for more details.







Rick Rypien - Alright, alright. Very funny guys. C'mon now, give Rick his milk back before he calls his mom.