8:37 - Less then 30 minutes from the game. Will we get a matchup with the Ducks later in the week or just be furious and be relegated to viewing the Red Wings obliterate the Stars? Jes is on to something with his letter perhaps.
If you're a Vancouver fan and not drinking, permit me to suggest now is quite possibly the ideal time to even try a wine spritzer.
Lastly, a win tonight gets those good people at the North Texas Food Bank more money. Do the Stars hate starving people? I sure hope not.
8:58 - I am a bit concerned Versus is showing IFC and has it slated to go until 9:30. I tell you this: if Versus fucks up a game seven, they don't deserve their NHL contract. Seriously. If this was the NFL playoffs, someone would be murdered. Guaranteed.
9:00 - All good now. Sorry about jumping the gun there.
9:03 - Zubov is out I understand. That's one thing going in Vancouver's favor. He's been great this series, especially on the power play.
9:05 - Well, a final kick in the ass to yours truly. Strader and Beezer will talk to me tonight. The anger level jumped up just seeing little Beezer.
9:11 - Wow, 26 seconds and they take a penalty? WOW. Kick ass guys. And I drink...
9:13 - I am happy they went with the vintage jerseys tonight.
9:15 - Good kill, Luongo chops Lindros and Bulis bursts down the ice for a shot. It's amazing, without goals, what makes me happy.
9:18 - The power play aside, each team looks nervous or cautious. The Canucks D needs to stop messing up the clearing passes too. How's everyone's beverages tonight? Good I trust.
9:20 - Strader is wondering out loud if the Canucks wore the vintage jersey because they were 10-5 with them in the post season. Why...WHY is this considered decent coverage?
9:23 - And Beezer gives his first official love soliloquy to Turco. Only took 6 minutes or so. Not bad. Only Beezer could follow up some sustained Canuck pressure with a compliment to the Stars offense! Update: Mike Modano is the most amazing thing to Beezer since Turco. Young budding love is so adorable isn't it?
9:30 - Admidst the Turco love in, Strader had to interrupt Beezer to inform him Lindros just plastered Josh Green. Don't let the game interrupt your bullshit ideas Beezer.
9:33 - The Sedins force a penalty. Nicely done.
9:35 - Cowan getting PP time? No wonder we are now 1 for 29. Christ...
9:40 - Joel Lundquist just schooled both Beeska and Luongo. 1-0 Dallas. I think I just tore a vocal chord cursing.
9:43 - Burrows trips up Lindros and the Stars could absolutely kill us now.
9:45 - I have come full circle. I am having a tough time watching the game and simply trying to filter out Beezer. I guess a 1-0 Dallas lead is all the evidence he needs to say the Stars "can do anything they want right now" and "Dallas owned that period". To speak nothing of his frequent "Luongo can't score goals" pithy insight. You're a fucking embarrassment man.
OK, I will leave the rest of this blog Beezer free. If you don't know he sucks yet, simply ask me to elaborate later on. As for the game, Dallas controlled a bit more then Vancouver but it was hardly lights out for them either. Vancouver got some big hits in and had some decent pressure at times. Far better then game six already. Turco is working on 8+ scoreless periods now.
10:05 - There just seems to be a lack of energy on Vancouver's side starting the second. Good pressure but still nothing. Sedin almost beat Turco, but I guess almost doesn't count, huh?
10:08 - Henrik takes a hooking call...more of the same shit. Mindless penalties.
10:11 - Just when I was ready to be even more furious at the Canucks lack of pressure, they get some and force Morrow to take a interference call. Nice to see a call come our way. Morrow went to the dressing rooom, so Ott sits in the box. Fuck all of them I say.
10:14 - Barnes has a mental hookup and gets a questionable call. Whatever. A 5-on-3 for the worst PP in the postseason (too busy to back that up right now). I think they have 90 seconds on it too. I won't insult your intelligence to say how big this is...
10:16 - Sorry, its only 30 seconds on the five on three. Jumped the gun again. Wishful thinking...
10:22 - Nothing going on the powerplay still, but they are outshooting Dallas 10-1 this period. That's a start...
10:26 - The officiating is clearly starting to suck. I've counted at least two missed Dallas penalties in the past 4 minutes, so in that last scramble it's only fair they get called for something. The Vancouver pressure has to cash in.
10:29 - ...and cash in they did. Henrik Sedin was left alone in front of Turco...not sure who passed it, let's guess Daniel, but I don't give a shit. Fuck you Turco. Fuck you Dallas. 1-1 tie 'ballgame' (Beezer just called it that, so why can't i?)
10:33 - It may have taken all season, but Alex Burrows finally did something worthwhile: he pissed off Morrow enough to have the latter take a call and negate the man advantage. Huge Burrows, I don't hate you temporarily.
10:36 - Did I just watch two Canucks slam into each other on a 4-on-4 rush? It MUST be a game seven.
10:39 - Linden just missed the lower corner stick side. Damn. Mr Canuck getting the lead would be beautiful. Shit, a lead would be a beautiful.
10:42 - That second period was precisely what Vigneault and every fan wanted. The Canucks tie it, are forcing the game on a depleted Dallas D (yes, Zubov is that important, sorry Klemm) and they'l l start the third on the power play. 20 minutes...this is shaping up to be a classic.
10:59 - Third period pending...here we go.
11:01 - Power play is over and Modano had a great chance but missed it. Expect to see Modano, Lindros and Morrow leading the charge this period. That's an impressive line no doubt.
11:05 - Canucks head to their 7th man advantage. It would be poetic to get the go ahead goal on their shit power play skillz of this series.
11:08 - I've seriously lost count with our power play futility. We're one for a zillion.
11:12: The Sedins again draw a power play. Let's go for one for a zillion and one! No just kidding...let's just blow the roof off GM Place with a goal.
11:14 - Do you want a beautiful sight? A power play goal for Mr. Canuck. Wow. I can't even scream, it's just a view to behold. 2-1 Canucks with 13:00 left.
11:16 - Fuck you Nagy, it's called boarding. Call this shit.
11:21 - If anyone was curious what watching a game seven is like WITHOUT Dan Cloutier in net, Luongo just showed you. Absolutely robbing Stu Barnes. Sick. Less then ten minutes to go.
11:21 - Cowan takes another run at Lindros and gets a call. Can you blame him? Well, if the Canucks win, then no I can't. If they score though? I won't even entertain the thought...
11:26 - Wow, Luongo just grabbed someone. Shit, I've never seen him react. That's amazing, hopefully there's no call on that. I think it was Morrow.
11:27 - Another call against Dallas and Salo, who got drilled looks ok and is skating to the bench. We could absolutely ruin them now with a goal.
11:29 - Just kidding, you can't bury a team when your captain takes a hooking penalty. Time to calm down Lui, you'll be needed.
11:30 - The coaches are going to have their heads explode. Dallas takes another call now, so it's a 4 on 3 for a bit and then Vancouver will have a power play for about 15 seconds. The Sedins have answered the call tonight, good or bad outcome.
11:33 - Fuck this is getting hard to comment on. Good tries on both ends of the power play then Linden with a great chance on a lucky bounce and now one to two players will go off for something or other. The refs have been busy in the past 35 minutes.
11:36 - Linden goes for diving (??) and Lindros goes for being a general pain in the ass. 4 on 4 with 4 left. That's poetic.
11:37 - An open net for Modano becomes a cling of the post. Wow, this is going to be a crazy end...
11:41 - Turco to the bench. Here we go, can they hang on? 90 seconds left to the second round...
11:44 - What's up Brian Burke? We'll be seeing you shortly. 3-1 Canucks on a Pyatt empty netter. It's amazing this team did it.
11:44 - Er, they're not done. 4-1 Canucks on Smoke's empty netter.
11:47 - That's it everyone. Everyone counted them out and they still, despite a bad first, made something out of nothing. It made me proud to see crowd salute both goalies as they meet at center ice. Take nothing away from Dallas. Three shutouts? That's amazing. They played a hell of a series. With Zubov in there, I'm not sure we could have won tonight. But that's a game seven for ya.
Postgame - I will save the bulk of my comments for tomorrow. But just a reminder that Linden now leads all active player in game 7 points with 12. What more could you want from a guy who bleeds Canuck blue (or green or white or whatever)? And Luongo did his thing again. Every negative comment about the Sedins was answered. Naslund had a solid game too. They responded to Vigneault's comments. They came to play and, just like every game in this series (except six) the team that won used an aggressive forecheck to get the bounces to turn the tide.
The Ducks are next. For now, congrats Canuck fans! We live to see another day and it feels incredible.
4.23.2007
Game Seven Liveblog
4.21.2007
Game Six Liveblog
7:43 - Here we go again. Another night, more scoreless periods, more heart wrenching play and one goal will decide it. Here's hoping this is the night to put this series to bed.
By the by, if you get bored of reading me, scoot on over to Dan Olson's livestream and his bitching Don Cherry jersey. I also came across this too if you're a Facebook fan.
7:59 - I had to wait for Bullriding to get off of Versus. And their intro tease already used "resilient" in reference to Dallas. Kill me now.
8:01 - Versus has two different guys calling tonight. That's a welcome change to what game one and two were. We'll see though.
8:11 - Pyatt with the Sedins. I like that already.
8:13 - Man, Linden's penalty seemed tame to anyone who watched the Flames/Red Wings today. Oh well, Dallas goes on the PP first. What a shock! And now Beeska takes a high sticking penalty. Excuse me while I vomit...
8:16 - Well what a shock. Another five-on-three and Modano, who's been invisible most games, makes it 1-0. This is sickening simply because the Canucks, once again, become their own worst enemies. For fucks sake.
8:19 - So Beeska leads the playoffs with 8 minors. Awesome stuff buddy, way to chuck your coming out party of a season into the toilet.
8:21 - The E train takes a hooking call and now both nations can laugh at what the Vancouver PP is.
8:23 - If I have to hear "...and the Vancouver powerplay has to regroup" one more time, I'm going to break something. The two minutes us up, I think Salo got a shot and that was it. Pathetic. Everyone drink.
8:25 - Hey, Budlight had a funny commercial with talking gorillas. That's the best part of the last 25 minutes or so. Thanks crappy American brewmaster.
8:28 - Versus just shared a fun stat: when a team is trailing 3-1, the Canucks lead the league is allowing that team to come back and win the series with 4 times! ALRIGHT! Sigh...
8:33 - Hey guys, don't exert yourself too much in clearing the zone. It's fun to watch Dallas set up shot after shot.
8:35 - Not for nothing, but there's quite a few empty seats in the lower section of the grand ol' American Airlines arena. Then again, not too sure I would shell out good money for a 1-0 game either.
8:37 - We are closing in on 4 periods and maybe 8 minutes of the game 5 OT in which the Canucks have not scored. And somehow they are tied in shots up to this point. This is beyond sickening.
8:40 - Vancouver gets their first legit chance to test Turco...nothing great though, but it's something. The anemic offensive attempts in this series is getting incredibly old.
8:42 - WOW Nagy, did you bring your pink panties to the rink tonight too? That's a beautiful embellishment of a high stick. God, I wish Mattias did make him bleed.
8:45 - Nice, some fat Texan woman in a Modano jersey is giving Burrows shit in the box. You Texans let all your heifer wives fight your battles? Na, I'm kidding...I know you don't. You guys have all the guns! :|
8:48 - And yet another period in which the Canucks offense does nothing. The Canucks D (Beeska) take mindless penalties. And Luongo does his best to carry the weight of this team who simply do not want to elevate their game in front of him. What fun this is to watch. If that team doesn't come out for the second period with some fucking emotion and step in their game, then just save us the time and forfeit a game seven. Ugh...
9:07 - son of a bitch, why not start the second period off short handed? I mean, the Canucks clearly have control of this game and the series...sure, go for it. I'm positive we have the offense to come back from a 2-0 deficit...right? RIGHT??!
9:10 - If Morrison took the Nagy acting class, he could have sold that trip right there as a misconduct. Where's the effort?
9:15 - Wow Luongo just made a simply mind blowing save...launching himself from his knees to block an open net that Ott had. How...HOW...does this team not respond when the guy who got them here plays like this? This period is close to half over and it's been all Dallas. Yet again. Turco may as well make himself a martini and chill out a bit. We're not going to be bothering him tonight I see.
9:19 - Canucks go to the powerplay to try and make it 22 STRAIGHT without a goal. Great going. What fun.
9:22 - One shot on the man advantage. For anyone who cares. One shot. I think it was Ohlund who is our leading scorer so far. (*spits, screams, curses*)
9:29 - Vancouver is starting to get their chances, bit by bit. Pyatt just got stopped by Turco's toe, otherwise this game is tied.
9:31 - In complete honesty I have to give a glove tap to Versus tonight. Their production is BY FAR better and it's due directly to the play by play guy and the commentator, both of whom I missed their names. But they are exactly what'd you want in a game where there's few nice things to say about Vancouver so far. These guys are honest, pulling relevant stats and providing decent analysis even if it's still Dallas heavy. Good job Versus, a damn fine change.
9:37 - As yet another period of bullshit ends, I can't help but think the happiest person on the planet right now is Marty Turco's agent because, at this point, his shutout streak is guaranteeing a fat contract the next time a new one comes up.
9:38 - So, to recap, there's been a funny Budweiser commercial and Versus is giving America a far better, objective offering this evening. On the downside, the Canucks PP is redefining futility and they have not created consistent pressure on Turco, who's now dangerously close to getting his second straight, and third of the series, shutout. Vigneault needs to do something, anything, to get this team going. Break up the Sedins, punch Sopel in the face, something...ANYTHING...to get this team going.
9:59 - Vancouver started the third with an aggressive forecheck. I won't bother asking where this was the first 40 minutes, but suffice it to say it's nice to see. 15 minutes remain.
10:03 - Halpern makes it 2-0 after an Ohlund clearing attempt didn't quite clear. This is the essence of futility: nothing is going right. Nothing. Save for Luongo and I'm not even counting him anymore. Give credit to the Stars...they deserve this win, Turco deserves his shutout streak and the Canucks deserve another humiliating playoff collapse if THIS is the best they can muster.
10:09 - The Stars damn near make it 3-0 but the post saves them. The goal post, mind you, is doing more for this team then some of its forwards. The Canucks had a 3 on 2 directly after that but Burrows messed it up.
10:12 - OK, I realize I've been far too negative tonight. Even when losing I should try and find something uplifting in this mess. So let me try this: there's still a game 7. The Canucks should just start sending messages. Run Turco, take some guys out. Be dirty. Do something to make game 7 something more then a gut-wrenching 1-0 affair.
10:21 - The kick in the nuts here is that the Stars still have the better pressure. How Vancouver can't forecheck and press like Dallas still is, even with their lead, is incredible. Simply incredible. Vancouver just doesn't have anything right now.
10:24 - Dallas is just having their way with Vancouver now. And Cowan just did something massively retarded from the bench while Morrow gimped hi way off the ice. It's the like the fucking twilight zone now.
10:28 - You know what would make this loss acceptable? Vigneault jumping the glass and ramming his fist down Tippett's throat. Just for fun. But no...Daniel takes a penalty instead and Dallas gets one more chance to ensure Turco's shutout and add one more insult to what will be a fucking joke of a game from the Canucks perspective.
Post game - So, here we are. Vancouver has created the shit it finds itself wallowing in. I don't know if this team's lot in life is to be unable to put away a post season series, but they are looking at their third game 7 in a row and, obviously, they've lost the previous two. Tonight's game was disheartening because this team didn't show the passion, cohesiveness or skill it showed all season to win the division championship.
But, what are the positives? Well, first off, Zubov left that game early and Morrow sure didn't look good limping off the ice. So they could be down their best D man and their captain. Maybe, maybe not. Also, this game will be in front of a loud angry GM Place so if home ice advantage means anything it'll be Monday night. And last (fingers crossed tightly) the Canucks have got to be embarrassed. They haven't scored in two games and have been progressively outplayed in each one.
I look now directly at Vigneault. Game six showed Dallas knows how to shut down Vancouver, forecheck the hell out of them and set up and create traffic in front of Luongo. And it's working. Dallas will rightly deserve the second round if the Vancouver coaching staff cannot learn to establish a method that works. I'll forgive the PP...that working is gone. But 5 on 5 has got to be cleaned up. Otherwise, game 7 is lost before it even starts.
For now, take a drink everyone. Shit, take a few. Monday is a long way away and, soon enough, we'll learn how this team wants to respond to its biggest challenge in years.
4.17.2007
Game Four Liveblog
7:40 - The hockey gods have been kind enough to remove Versus from my plate this evening so my anger should be a tad less. Just a tad though, let's not get nuts here.
7:55 - Good lord Atlanta...
8:05 - Hmmm, well I have no idea what music the "Stars" come out to, but it's rather loud. I like it actually; there, that's all the positives I have for them. And believe me, saying "good music" and "Texas" is not easy.
8:09 - Wait, I forget Pantera hails from Texas. See, another positive! If only Pantera could skate and score goals...Vinnie Paul would be a hell of a goalie.
8:12 - Oh my, did Beeska just skate into the Dallas zone untouched? Let's see that about 50 more times tonight.
8:14 - Ahhh, I love the CBC. "Dallas is dancing with defeat"...you'd have to drug Beezer to get that phrase out of his mouth.
8:15 - Josh Green is playing? Who's sitting? Santala?
8:17 - I know I missed the last game, but I'm enjoying this early pressure from Vancouver. Sure beats getting scored on in the first minute.
8:18 - Naslund just fucked up a clearing attempt and took a guy down behind the net. He sort of needed to take the penalty there because someone was sitting right in the slot.
8:20 - You know a hidden benefit of Luongo is that it's a tough name to chant. Three syllables? You get 18,000+ people to get that correct all at once. Suck it TUR-CO.
8:25 - Dallas goes back to the powerplay; after some good early pressure, the camera seems to be pointing left too much. Let's fix that in two minutes shall we?
8:27 - Man, Modano is going to slit his wrists with his own teeth if he can't get a point in these final games. He's certainly had his chances so far.
8:29 - Everything Sopel does scares the living shit out of me. Honestly, I see a line of "Sopel Scared Me Shitless" t-shirts coming to a local store near you. I'll work on a logo though or else the shirt just doesn't work.
8:32 - BOOOLIS draws a penalty. This guy just makes me keeping liking him more and more. What bad regular season? I have no idea what you speak of...
8:34 - Fuck you Hagman; buy Luongo flowers if you love him so much, don't date rape him. In his own crease too! What happened to a little thing called manners? Prick.
8:37 - Nagy just kissed the end boards something fierce. My face hurts watching that.
8:40 - Cowman just took an ill-advised hooking call. Damn it all. Green follows it up by putting the puck over the glass. Dallas has another brilliant chance to give Modano a point before he takes his own life with his teeth. (see earlier post if that makes no sense)
8:42 - Burrows is out of control. Nice PK job for a guy who nearly lost his head a week ago.
8:43 - Simply massive PK job. Luongo, Burrows and Mitchell were incredible. And still Modano has nothing. Not that I'm keeping track of his futility. No, not at all.
8:45 - Less then a mile away from me Lehtonen is being utterly destroyed by the Rangers. In case you were curious of any games that aren't 0-0.
8:50 - Canucks will end the period on a man advantage. A goal here in the final seconds would be the essence of magical. Or just a great fuck you. Whichever.
8:51 - Holy shit, Turco just made a beautiful save on Linden. He must be paying attention to that other guy down the ice. So, as surprising as it must sound, we have a 0-0 tie going into the second. Pretty even so far, too many calls against the Canucks though. They need to settle down and regain that pressure they had in the very beginning of the first.
9:11 - Good start to the second as well; Vancouver had a few good chances in the opening two minutes. Let's see if it can be extended for...deep breath...a whole period.
9:14 - Pyatt damn near went through the glass thanks to Ott. As much as I don't want to see that, on the other hand, it would live forever on youtube.
9:18 - Dallas is doing that annoying "sustained pressure" play. Quit the shit.
9:19 - Jesus, what the fuck? How Morrow making both Mitchell and Sopel look like AHL-ers? Are you kidding me? Sopel...(*shaking fist, cursing, spitting*)
9:24 - Canucks are outshooting Dallas somehow. And the good guys go to the powerplay...c'mon guys, for kicks, how about setting up? Let's start with the basics...
9:26 - SOPEL!!!! DAMN YOU!!!! Our PP is bad enough without you falling down. Cut your hair.
9:30 - Canucks back on the man advantage thanks to Boucher. Trying to work on that 1/20 PP streak they've been on. Christ...it's telling that a Dallas two man rush looks more effective then our entire time on the man advantage.
9:35 - BOOOLIS and Green damn near find paydirt on a shorthanded two on one. Nuts. It's going to be that kind of goal that's going to decide this.
9:36 - Wow, critics of this series who think it's too boring must be slamming concrete over their skulls that even the powerplays are completely pointless. And the Canucks will try again to score on the man advantage.
9:39 - Canucks are loving these odd man rushes. But they're not scoring either, so it's win/win I guess for both teams. Five minutes left in the period, still scoreless...ugh, this is getting sort of painful.
9:44 - Canucks blow another two on one...damn damn damn damn. Dallas' PP, at least, is just as painful as ours.
9:47 - Holy shit...just as Turco made a killer save at the end of the first, Luongo just made three in a row, including a complete stretch across the goal line to stop a rebound effort. 0-0 heading into the third now. I have a feeling it's going to take a dirty goal to decide this one...which is fine with me. As long as the Canucks get it.
10:06 - 19 and a half minutes of combined powerplay time. Awesome. Vancouver needs another killer third like they did in game #3 to put this away.
10:09 - Considering the "Stars" are looking at a 3-1 series deficit if they blow this, I really hope this entire period isn't played in our end. FYI - Modano has zero shots on goal. ZERO.
10:12 - And, just like that, the Canucks can't get out of their end. You can see Dallas pressing and getting their D jumping up in every rush.
10:13 - Fuck you Nagy. Good to see that he's just a filthy cheat for it helps make up for his woeful lack of talent. Cowman, go get him.
10:17 - Hey, um, did I miss something or is Brendan Morrison out? Or just having a shit game?
10:19 - But, hey, I know that Ohlund is playing! 1-0 Canucks, BAM. Mattias had the whole net with Turco down and now expect a hell of a finish. 10 minutes to go.
10:21 - I see Morrison now, although no clue what line he's on. Whatever, just keep doing what you're doing.
10:23 - Naslund to Daniel but Turco was there to stop it. Nuts, that would be ended this contest right there. The "Stars" have eight fun-filled minutes to get past Luongo. I'm sure, if they can't, Nagy will just run him again.
10:29 - Sydor scores to knot this up. Looked like Naslund failed to clear that one too that was eventually moved to Sydor for the goal. That's upsetting, but nothing's over yet.
10:30 - From the words of canucksandbeyond.com's Alanah: motherfucker (you can quote me)
10:30 - Look at that! In the same minute Alanah curses, Linden answers with his own version of the motherfucker. 2-1 Canucks.
10:32 - This could be the best three minutes in this series upcoming. Dallas is going to chuck everything at Lui. Part of that everything may not be Modano though who still has ZERO shots on goal.
10:34 - OH....MY....GOD....THAT....WAS....
CLOSE....SOMEONE....BUY....MITCHELL....A....BEER....
10:37 - This is going to be the longest 138 seconds I've seen in a long time.
10:41 - Luongo just saved me from disliking you for a bit Burrows...
10:42 - 13 seconds left, TWO missed shots on Turco's home...
10:43 - Mitchell clears up the shit in front of Luongo as the game ends. Dallas is now on a six game losing streak at home. Yet another 2-1 win for this Vancouver squad.
Post Game - You really have to hand it to these Canucks: they've got these 2-1 victories down like a fine art now. This Thursday they'll get a chance to close this out and get some well earned R&R at home in front of a "Turco Sucks" happy GM Place. While the big guns like the Sedins, Morrison and Naslund didn't get on the scoresheet, they certainly continued their strong play (which includes Mo who I mentioned I didn't even see out there, but led the Canucks in winning face off's anyway. So shut my mouth). Nothing could be more beautiful then a former Canuck captain on the third line getting the winning goal. Well, that or former-Star Willie Mitchell saving a goal in the final minute. You decide.
And what of Linden's fellow draft mate Modano? He was one of four "Stars" with no shots on goal tonight. Turco was incredible in the first when he needed to be, so you can't blame him. You can also see what they gave the "C" to Morrow, the guy is impressive and plays with a ton of energy. That said, this team just has no answers for how the Canucks play other then, if I understand the Dallas newspapers accurately, to take shots at Luongo when the play is dead. 3-1 isn't insurmountable, but I don't see how the "Stars" will yank three victories out of Luongo and the rest of this team now.
You know the best part of closing out Dallas Thursday night now? It gives me a few more days to laugh that the "Stars" lost a first round pick for Nagy. Hahahaha...fuck you Nagy. Keep your stick down.
Another 25 yankee dollars has been notched for the North Texas Food Bank. It just gives you that warm sickly feeling down deep doesn't it?
See everyone back on Thursday, we'll liveblog it again.
4.10.2007
Series #1: Texans V Canucks
Well, I was wrong. Quicker then you could say “Cloutier got pulled in the first” this team did EXACTLY what everyone thought they couldn’t do. They won consistently. They broke a lot of records. They received amazing goaltending. They learned to score. They mastered the penalty kill. Eventually they won their division. And, oh yeah, they put together the best season in the history of the franchise.
I thought it would be a long season with more downs the ups, but this team did just the opposite. In fact they did exactly what I hope this team would do every year I’ve been a fan: go out there and get the job done, no matter what. Making it all the more rewarding is that they did all this when no one – media or many fans – believed in them.
Now, time to put all of that aside. Tomorrow, they join 15 other groups in the quest for a large, metal drinking vessel.
You know me, I hate predictions. The only lock you have is that two teams that are so similar on paper it begs to be laughed at will square off at
That aside, some of joy of the NHL playoffs is the amazing hatred you can build for a team in a short period of time. Sadly, it’s tough to despise the Stars because they are painfully boring. However, I have a job to do here, so let’s go:
Why You'll Hate The Stars In 7 Games Or Less
1. They are frontloaded with a few NY Ranger cast offs: Lindros, Barnaby, Zubov and Norström. OK, that helps me maybe more then you, but still. Speaking of which…
2. Lindros? Seriously? Do you really want to see this “haunted” fool have any remote level of success in the post season at
3. Their website doesn't work in Firefox; some tabs on the left mysteriously disappear and reappear at will. Sure, I’m a tool for pointing that out, but there’s something to be said for not fucking up your main online PR vehicle. How about cutting Lindros loose and hiring a QA guy for a day?
4. The “Stars” moved a first round pick & Mathias Tjarnqvist for Ladislav Nagy; Tjarnqvist outscored him down that stretch. With any luck, overated-agy will somehow be responsible for a retarded own goal that leads to a Canucks win. He’s certainly on the right team for it.
5. Mike Modano, who looks like a horse, is engaged to this. I recognize Texans may enjoy lowering their standards, but seriously. Even eunuchs have to be angry at this. And so should you.
6. Stephane Robidas just looks like an untrustworthy person. Ditto Krys Barch who looks like he'd be better suited for one of the many wonderful prisons in
7. Mooterus makes our Orca whale look hot, trendy and fun for the whole family.
8. Tom Hicks, the Stars grand pooba, is an adamant George W. Bush supporter. I don’t want to get political, but permit me to suggest that any Dallas playoff success could mean more revenue in Hick’s pocket which theoretically could find its way to Bush or his party in the form of donations or massage happy-ending tips and, in turn…sooner or later, he’ll bomb downtown Vancouver for being a tough city to spell (what, with the two v’s and all). Think of the children people, think of the children.
8. They drafted Iginla in the first round, 11th overall, in 1995. Revolting.
In the spirit of sportsmanship:
Why You'll Like The Stars In 7 Games Or Less
1. The Dallas Stars Planet Tan Ice Girls. I respect their talents and look forward to whatever it is they do during games 3 and 4.
Canuck fans should rest assured with this reality: Scott Burnside picked the Canucks to miss the playoffs and finish 9th in the conference. Now he picked the Stars to win the series. Clearly, if Burnside - who used his vastly superior analytical skillz to guess that 5 of the 8 series will be going to a game seven where he, I presume, flipped a coin to pick the winner - thinks that, well, then you should sleep well all week long.
A combination of work, an interview and a concert will mean that I will likely miss most, if not all, of game #1. I’m positive the other solid Canuck voices will be all over what happens. I’ll be back in force late Thursday and ready to get stupid on Friday for game #2.
Not that they need it, but what the hell
Go Canucks Go
4.07.2007
Redemption
Now it's time to get your hate on folks. The "Stars" and the Canucks in the first round it is. I'll get the proper amount of hatred going in a day or so, but in the meantime, please start prepping accordingly:
- Why I hate Texas
- I hate Texas
- Road Trip USA II or (I Hate Texas)
- Reasons to Hate Texas
- I'd rather go to hell then Texas
- Why Texas Sucks
