...A brief look around this morning as I inhale my coffee shows me the ying and yang of life. For instance:
- Extinct cats saddled with hobbling Swedes? Not fun.
- Looking pissed on the cover of a magazine with the word "Canucks" right next to your head? Fun!
- Old faces in bad places (first bullet)? No, not fun.
- Not hockey-related, but it's the birthday of a punk god. Give thanks and break bread. Fun!
- In anticipation of the first place showdown tomorrow night, the Wild have won four of five games against the Canucks this season, outscoring them 17-9, winning in a shootout and limiting the’ nucks to three goals or less in each outing. NOT FUN.
What's the over/under on the rumors today? Without any sources, team connections or sitting online reading every fan forum until the 27th, I feel strongly about the following:
- Jason Blake to the Rangers in return for Sandis Ozolinsh who is immediately given the dual back office position of team bus driver and assistant GM.
- Shane Doan gets traded to Toronto for a high pick. Doan proceeds to cry every time the play-by-play announcer mispronounces his name as "Shame Done".
- Jose Theodore gets traded to Florida. Theodore plays one game before announcing that he's the father of Anna Nicole Smith's kid. (And, as fans, don't even attempt to make light of the situation)
- Georges Laraque gets moved to Pittsburgh and immediately punches Jarkko Ruutu in the face, lifts him above his head and snaps him in two complete with a Braveheart-esque scream. Then calmly suits up and hits the ice for warm ups.
- Sergei Samsonov gets moved to Columbus. He skates on the same line with Carter and Fedorov, thereby creating the most overrated line in hockey this season. Hitchcock weeps and smacks Zherdev repeatedly.
- Calgary moves Kristian Huselius to Vancouver for a pick. Huselius doesn't score and goes -18 in 20 games with the Canucks. He misses every shootout attempt. Zanstrom's photoshop skillz kick into high gear during the offseason.
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