Fun with Web 2.0

From HFboards.com, we have the following as gleamed from never-ever flawed Wikipedia:

"In an interview on May 9, 2007, Gomez clearly stated he wishes to sign with the Vancouver Canucks during the off-season. He said that he looks forward to playing with some of Vancouver's elite players, including the Sedin twins."

Checking Sir Gomez's page this morning, however, will give you this:

"In an interview on May 9, 2007, Gomez clearly stated he hates Vancouver and the surrounding area and will never play for the loser Canucks."

Well, we already reviewed the likelihood of him showing up here, so that's not news. But loser Canucks? Hates Vancouver?? How DARE you use an openly editable and often incorrect forum to poke the sleeping dragon that is Dave Nonis!

How's this for a solid web 1.0 response?

Die Gomez Die!

Go sign with the Leafs and get your suck on!

Bliznak'ed!

Mario Bliznak, drafted by the Vancouver Canucks in the 7th round (205th overall) in 2005 and just recently helping the Vancouver Giants win the Memorial Cup last weekend (yes, a B.C. team can win it all in hockey if properly prodded), has inked his first professional contract this afternoon. Yes with the Canucks.

Sure, go ahead, get excited. With a last name like that, I eagerly await the goals going in by the bucketful.

"In 2006-07, the 6’0”, 200 lbs. native of Trencin, Slovakia appeared in 47 regular season games with the Vancouver Giants of the Western Hockey League, recording 22 points (8-14-22) and 20 penalty minutes. In the WHL playoffs, Bliznak played in all 22 games with the Giants, notching 12 points (6-6-12) and 14 penalty minutes, helping lead his team to the WHL Finals for the second consecutive season." -- canucks.com press release.

Gambling with Humans, part III

Leading the charge for the Canucks down the left wing is a solid 1-2 punch with Naslund and Daniel; that is if you assume Naslund gets his groove back in what will be the final year of his contract and can play like he did in the post season and Daniel plans on leading the team in goals again. Otherwise it's just a cool footnote for Ornskoldsvik and annoying for the rest of us.

Couple in the upcoming UFA issues with potential ex-Canucks in both Pyatt and Bulis not to mention pluggers Cowan and Green and, son of a bitch, we find yet another hole in the Canuck forward ranks. Get your gambling hats on then for the crop of left wingers we can likely eliminate based on salary but still drool at and imagine wearing whatever the hell the new Canuck uniform will be next season:

Ryan Smyth - A fun idea, but if not the Island, he'll get his millions somewhere to be sure.
Paul Kariya - Another fun idea to bring a B.C. boy home, but should ultimately cost too much. Unless he wants another Coloroado-esque discount?
Ladislav Nagy - I will projectile vomit all year if I have to see him on a consistent basis.
Jason Blake - I fear someone is going to give him a fat contract and then watch him do nothing for the first two years of it. It would be fantastic if that person isn't Nonis.
Keith Tkachuk - Don't you want to golf all year with your boy Roenick?
Vycheslav Kozlov - If the vet can stay healthy, he would be a decent target.
Brendan Shanahan - Not a chance in hell he'll leave Broadway for B.C.

Running in the middle of the UFA LW crop is:

Kyle Calder - Still a project as he enters his 7th year.
Taylor Pyatt - Breakout year as the third Sedin and reportedly wants to stay in Vancouver.
Richard Zednick - Not quite as dominant as he once was; haircut alone means he should stay in Long Island.
Gary Roberts - I'm just not a fan of guys over 40 taking a slot. Something tells me Vigneault feels the same way.
Ruslan Fedotenko - This guy could flourish as the third Sedin; has the skills but needs to eat some Wheaties over the summer months.
Jan Bulis - Jan Jan Jan...you have as many pros and you do cons. Damn you for making my decision making process more annoying.
Kirk Maltby - Nope.
Chris Simon - Hahahaha...but seriously no.

Finally, the sub 7-figure class:

Antti Laaksonen, Bates Battaglia, Boyd Kane, Brad Isbister, Brad Larsen, Brad May, Dan LaCouture, Dean McAmmond, Denis Arkhipov, Eric Boulton, Jeff Cowan, Jeff Friesen, Jon Sim, Josh Green, Marcus Nilson, Martin Gelinas, Mathieu Darche, Matt Ellis, Nils Ekman, Noah Clarke, Pascal Dupuis, Peter Sejna, Ramzi Abid, Riley Cote, Todd Fedoruk, Ville Nieminen and Vladamir Orszagh.

Now that I look at it, there's a lot of LW's I'd love to gamble with here, but then again that whole salary cap thing will get in the way. So, how does this grab ya?

UFA Left Wingers
Will break bank/move contracts for: Kozlov & Kariya
Hold your breath and pray: Pyatt
Go nuts, but don't expect much: Battaglia, Cowan, Green
Plan a project: Fedotenko, Ekman, Orszagh, Arkhipov.
Look fondly at Manitoba: Jaffray, Hansen (LW/RW), Raymond, Bouck
Just get a warm body: Laaksonen, Gelinas, McAmmond, Dupuis (ugh, we better be very desperate) and General Zod because he's one of the best bad guys ever who coincidentally is running for president of my country in 2008 and already has my real vote and stolen vote in Florida. Doubling up!

UPDATE - Sounds like Nonis is taking the breath holding and prayer approach.

Kesler's back in the saddle

Good to know that this didn't take too long; I would have hated to miss more chances at seeing him smirk over the next three years. Three years for about or exactly $5.5 million is ironically pretty close if you just took his $1.9 gift from Clarke and added two more years. So now the team just needs him to stay healthy and score. A lot. No problems there right? Of course not.

In the meantime, we add our first FA signing to the almighty list:


So, how about we go back to focusing on maybe one more center and some wingers? I'll review the options on the left side coming up sometime next week.

In the meantime, go Senators next week. If I have to watch Pronger lift that cup, I may snap and I'll be blaming the Ottawa organization in my future civil lawsuits.

Gambling with humans, part II

The last time you saw your beleagured Canucks, Pyatt, Linden, Hansen, and Reid all lined up as right wingers. I know, it puts the fear of an angry god on a drunken bender into your soul doesn't it?

So netting a decent right winger wouldn't kill right? Let's roll the dice and gamble with humans again. Based on the salary they'll command alone, the following UFA RW's can be eliminated from the hunt:

Teemu Selanne - Burke's not letting him leave; he deserves his final years to be a Duck anyway. Unless the Jets suddenly reappear again.
Dainius Zubrus - Intriguing option for the Sedins, but not at $4 million.
Bill Guerin - I'd say just go to Phoenix but even Wayne may not want you.
Todd Bertuzzi - I'm not even addressing this.

Assuming Nonis I have one to two million to blow on the right side, then there are guys like:

Scott Hartnell - Teams will jump on him like a two dollar whore at a Duke lacrosse frat party. What, too soon?
Mike Johnson - Has decent numbers when in Phoenix a few seasons ago.
Mark Recchi - Will likely stay with the baby Pens anyway.
Scott Walker - It would be a nice homecoming for this sparkplug but has had injury problems.
Tony Amonte - No, but feel free to languish in cowtown for another year.
Owen Nolan - Whatever you're selling, we're not buying.
Peter Bondra - If it was JUST two years ago the name alone would sell me.
Anson Carter - When the Blue Jackets don't want you and the defending Cup champs bench you down the stretch, it's evidence that you've been crushed by your massive ego.

As for the rest of the sub one-million-dollar class:

Aaron Downey, Alexander Mogilny, Arron Asham, Ben Guite, Brad Tapper, Darren McCarty, Denis Hamel, Eric Meloche, Grant Marshall, Jason Ward, Jed Ortmeyer, Jeff Hoggan, Josh Langfeld, JP Vigier, Lee Goren, Mark Rycroft, Matthew Barnaby, Niko Dimitrakos, Pat Leahy, Petr Tenkrat, Radek Dvorak, Reed Low, Rob DiMaio, Ronald Petrovicky, Scott Parker, Shawn Thornton and Tom Kostopoulos.

That all said, this meager lad's opinion is:

UFA Right Wingers
Will break bank/move contracts for: Walker & Hartnell
Hold your breath and pray: Johnson
Go nuts, but don't expect much: Dvorak
Plan a project: Petrovicky & Dimitrakos. Technically Mogilny too as it would involve a hip transplant and a time machine.
Look fondly at Manitoba: Schultz, Grabner, Hansen and Brown.
Just get a warm body: Marshall, Ortmeyer, Asham or Cobra Commander (the latter gets bonus points if he uses motivational talk in the locker room between periods like, "I shall be waiting to reward your genius or have you beheaded for terminal stupidity! I have spoken.")

Gambling with humans, part I

...MMMMKAY...

Nature abhors a vacuum, capri pants, non-alcoholic beer and Avril Lavigne. But primarily vacuums. So, since there's no Vancouver news I'm just going to make some up by playing the gambler Dave Nonis for a little bit.

Ergo, as the grand pooba of the Canuck clan, I am still a little peeved with that second round bad tequila taste left in my omnipotent mouth. For this team to not just make the playoffs but win convincingly (i.e. score) it's going to take some work.

Let's take a look at the upcoming UFA centers first and see how they can fit into the Vancouver plans, if at all. Right off the bat we can eliminate:

Scott Gomez - Out of budget
Stu Barnes - Fading fast
Eric Belanger
Viktor Kozlov - Wasn't terribly effective in the Devils defense-first system
Wayne Primeau
Wes Walz - Your years on Minnesota have stained my view of you. Go away. Far away. Florida has a team I hear.
Peter Forsberg - No. No no no.
Petr Sykora - See Forsberg.
Nik Antropov - Even the Leafs aren't that stupid to let him go, right?
Eric Lindros - It's simply adorable you're still trying.
Ian Laperriere - We have enough fourth liners.
Jeff O'Neill - A few years too late for top dollar.
Bryan Smolinski - Just not the best fit.
Chris Drury - Out of budget.
Daniel Briere - Out of budget.
Pierre Turgeon - Linden can play the aging warrior role.

With those guys gone, that leaves:

Brett McLean - Small, but shows he can score with third line duties
Jozef Stumpel - Can certainly score, but age/injuries will be a factor
Michael Peca - Offers plenty of intangibles, including his own injuries
Michal Handzus - Torn ACL stopped what looked like a great year for Chicago
Mike Comrie - Potentially best asset would be angering Oil fans
Mike York - Are his best days ahead or behind him?
Patrik Stefan - Has "project" written all over it
Radek Bonk - If he would only learn to use his size...
Robert Lang - Questionable worth ethic may drive Vigneault nuts
Todd White - Would he be another become another Chouinard?
Tyler Arnason - Rebounded last year, but can he do it again?
Yanic Perreault - Great defensively, but could be run over repeatedly by the opposition.

Lastly, there are a ton of guys who likely would command less then a million bucks a year:

Adam Mair, Andreas Karlsson, Boyd Devereaux, Byron Ritchie, Carl Corazinni, Craig MacDonald, Eric Boguniecki, Eric Perrin, Erik Rasmussen, Glen Metropolit, Jason Morgan, Jason Wiemer, Jeff Hamilton, Jeremy Reich, Jeremy Roenick, Jerred Smithson, Jim Dowd, Josef Vasicek, Mark Cullen, Mark Hartigan, Mark Smith, Marty Murray, Matt Hussey, Michael Holmqvist, Michael Ryan, Mike Glumac, Mike Ricci, Peter Nedved, Randy Robitaille, Scott Nichol, Serge Payer, Toby Peterson, Tommi Santala, Travis Green, Trent Whitefield, and Wyatt Smyth.

Lots of names and very few dollars to play with, so obviously sir Nonis would use a matrix to figure this out right? Well he uses mine now:

UFA Centers
Will break bank/move contracts for: Handzus
Hold your breath and pray: Stumpel & Perreault
Go nuts, but don't expect much: Comrie or York
Plan a project: Stefan (overall talent, missing empty netters), Lang (work ethic)
Look fondly at Manitoba: Moran, Smith, Reid, & Rypien
Just get a warm body: Boguniecki, Rasmussen, Ritchie, Metropolit, Vasicek and Cain Marko if he fits in skates.

In a galaxy far far away…

The Province has the lone Canuck article I could find this morning of substance and the title had the record player suddenly scratch violently in my head: "Kesler insists he can score". While he admits he has his doubters out there, he counters with:

"Right now, my game is a two-way forward and I like shutting down other teams' top lines," Kesler said. "But I can do more. I can play a bigger role. I can be a top-six forward. I think I have a lot more to offer. I think I'm just coming into my own."

Deep breath...inhale...exhale...ok, I really do want to believe that he's about to 'come into his own', but there's that whole 18 goals in 158 NHL games thing that gets in my way. You can write off this year to injuries, but to date he's only played one full NHL season which was the last Crawford experiment in 2005 when he registered 10G and 13A. Those 23 points aren't truly top six numbers and, for comparison, would tie him with the 23 points that the much-maligned Jan Bulis had this year.

I don't mean to shovel shit on the guy; in fact, I'm quite the booster of his physical, scrappy play (and I still love this smirk). He's still young and is a magnet for skepticism mainly because of his RFA contract. It's a shame he was out of the Canucks/Ducks series because he would have seen guys like Kunitz, Penner and Perry (all of whom have damn near double the amount of points Kesler has ever had) up close and personal.

Nonis has given every indication he's going to try and lock up Kesler for a couple years. If he does, Kesler certainly has his work cut out for him to crack the top six on this team. In theory, he could improve his physical game and become a mini-Bertuzzi for Naslund, dragging defenders with him on the rush and leaving the captain a drop pass with room to fire it. He could also become a mini-Carter/Pyatt with the Sedins and park himself in front of the net, causing havoc and converting rebounds. Or he could style his play after the aforementioned Kunitz and Penners of the world if given the chance to skate with guys like Cooke, Rypien or hell Bruce Banner (he's an UFA, right?).

So I'm on the fence with Kesler's comments. To me he's a two-way grinder firmly ensconced on the third line until he does something to warrant a top six slot. And even if he doesn't crack the top two lines, is that so bad? It would speak volumes about this team’s depth for next year if Kesler greatly improves his game and sticks to the third line.

Ouch

- Image courtesy of The Toque.

Wave the wand

I haven't had hockey to comment bitch about for a whole four days and I'm already bored. Well, my boredom was alleviated briefly with chuckles by watching the Rangers get ousted and the Yankees tie up what amounts to 34 Kevin Bieksa's for a 45-year-old crotchety Hall of Famer because, well, they are the Yankees.

Anyway, back to the hockey world, the Canucks have disbanded for the normal summer of surgeries and sabbaticals. It’s a cruel business that can question Nonis for pulling off a what we now know as a massive steal in Luongo last year and, this summer, already start crucifying him (with good reason) for having a team that can’t score.

On the positive side, the core guys are locked for the next few years. So let’s take a look at his more immediate summer homework:

I’m going to wager that Kesler, Krajicek and Linden all return. I’m not sure what Nonis is going to do with Kes’ salary but he’s not a $1.9 million guy so Ryan will have to learn that the Bobby Clark wet dream was a one time thing until he has the numbers to prove it. Krajicek deserves a small bump but nothing major as he keeps developing. And Linden had way too positive a season to not give it another shot; I’m going to assume maybe a 650k to 750k single year.

If that’s true, that leaves a team with comically large holes up front:

For the second straight year, I can’t see how the deadline deals are going to hang around. Smoke didn’t gel with Naslund as was hoped and Sopel…ugh, I won’t even start with. Santala and Trembley should be gone. Bulis, sadly, should be walking too; I liked him as the season rolled along and his PK game was great, but like Kesler, he gets paid too much for a guy who isn’t going to score.

Fitzpatrick and Green are both decent mortals, but Green is the more valuable of the two for the right low price.

I’d presume Sabourin and Cowan would love to come back, but with Vigneault loving Rypien and MacIntyre/Flaherty hanging out there in Manitoba, who knows. I can see Cowan wanting to come back, but then some team with a bit more cap space snagging him (like Ruutu last year).

Then there's Pyatt. He could try and pull a Carter and demand a ton for one year’s work but he really can’t since at least Carter’s resume was far more impressive at the end of last year. The numbers will be manageable enough that I think he’ll come back for another year deal in the Bulis range, $1.3 - $1.4 million. Hopefully.

Nonis also has some decent prospects to play with. Bourdon, Edler, Hansen, Coulombe, Rypien, Smith, Schultz, Reid, Bouck and even Grabner may get a shot in the preseason to fill some of these holes or challenge fringe guys for some time.

So it would appear Nonis will have, depending on what the cap gets raised to, between $8 and $10 million to get the RFAs sorted out and any UFA scoring help. Check here or here for the entire list of UFA’s across the board.

A word of crushing reality for you: if you think the likes of Briere, Drury, Gomez, Forsberg etc could make their way here, please stop. Don’t even try Bertuzzi either, that ship has sailed (and promptly sank). Nonis will likely have to roll the dice on a Chouinard or Bulis type again and see if he can find value in the low hanging fruit of the league.

A final question: between the big three of Morrison, Naslund and Ohlund, who would you like to see Nonis try and move if he could get one or more quality guys in return? I don’t see anyone pouncing on Mo and Nazzy with their salaries; maybe at the deadline, but not over the summer. If he dangled Ohlund out there though? A big, mobile defenseman who can score the timely goal and shut down some of the best in the league? Hmmm…

Hey Duck Fans!

Nothing but love for ya. But seriously, have fun with the Sharks. Or Bertuzzi and the Wings. But I do hope the Battle for California is what happens since I think it would be a hell of a good series. And, in the end, I hope we lulled Anaheim to sleep just enough so they can get stampeded like the Canucks just were. Ahh, the circle of life...

And I am still true to my ornery word. One win means 25 bucks for the CHOC. However, I will need to get one final dig in before I begin a few weeks of rooting for Ottawa:

Who put the stop payment on my reality check?

Thank you muchly Murdock

First off, real life will interrupt me tonight so I can't liveblog the game (making it the third game this post season I have missed, I am slipping). Feel free to use the comments to fire away thoughts about game five in real time.

Secondly and more importantly, you'd need to be deaf, dumb and blind (and perhaps without a TV) to know that after two disheartening losses, this team is staring at the big middle finger of playoff elimination tonight.

On the one hand, I'm tempted to be angry at everything from blown calls to unlucky bounces to missed open nets to botched 2-on-1's to Sopel's hair to Mcdonald's neck to why the left side of Selanne's face isn't as messed up as the right side and why Pronger still shares this earth with the rest of us...but that's the easy way out of it.

The fact is if Vancouver gets bumped out tonight (or this weekend), it's not the end of the world. Only one team can go all the way to drinking bad beer from that silver chalice while everyone else gets to spend the summer thinking about what they are missing to go that same distance.

With that perspective and regardless of game five’s outcome, I am left with just this: the players, the management and we as mere plebian fans have every reason to love what happened this season. This is what no loss can erase:

- Breaking four franchise records (overall points in a single season, H. Sedin assists, Luongo's wins and Vigneault's wins as a coach)
- Going on an absolutely unbelievable run after Christmas 2006
- Winning the Northwest title in arguably the tightest division in the league
- Winning and advancing past the first round for only the second time in the past decade

They were supposed to be crushed in the second round, and for anyone who has even bothered watching it, knows Vancouver has in many stretches over the series outplayed and outworked the opposition. So, if you factor in that they played far better then expected, but eventually succumbed to injuries, some poor play and eventual defeat to a powerhouse like Anaheim, someone please point to me where the bad part of this season is.

Hell, if I said all of this would have happened back in September, I would have been laughed out of the NHL blogsphere all together.

They defied expectations from the word ‘go’. I appreciate that. As a rather die hard and quick to anger fan, I thank them for that. If nothing else, I thank them for helping me forget the clusterfuck that was the 2005 season and be excited for the years to come.

By why get ahead of ourselves? Game five is still anyone’s game. Let’s see what this team has left in them. A game six on a Saturday which just so happens to fall on Cinco de Mayo would set up an ideal evening to drink and get stupid happy pulling for this team.

Go get ‘em guys.

Hey buddy, you a Canuck fan too?

...and that guy's team won! We, on the other hand, don't have enough middle fingers to use this morning...